If you are reading this you probably have been friendzoned by the man you love and you have no idea how to deal with this sh*t!
You are also likely in a world of pain and confusion as to how on earth he cannot love you back? Is he too blind to see that you are perfect together? You enjoy an amazing level of comfort and understanding.
Then what is stopping him from loving you. Why doesn’t he say the three magical words already?
Getting friendzoned is not entirely men’s arena, women get friendzoned too! (or as they call it bro-zoned .)
The vicious cycle of “he loves me he loves me not” causes a lot of emotional stress, and yes, this one-sided love situation sucks but it’s not the end of the world.
So take a deep breath sweetheart and get that coffee while you receive some blunt advice on the ugly truths of being friendzoned and how you can escape this trap!
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The Ugly Side of being Friendzoned
You tried every trick of the trade to attract him, but he just doesn’t love you back. The wise step here would be to move on but facing rejection is difficult.
Instead you readily enter into the world of friendzone in the obvious hope that someday you will change his mind and he’ll love you. Great if that happens.
But being friends with him, especially when you have strong feelings, is not an ideal situation for you. Here are some ugly truths about being friendzoned.
You are Living in an Illusion
If a guy truly loves you he would at some point reveal his feelings. But if you have known him for a considerable time and if he hasn’t made the move even after getting enough hints then he probably won’t.
But meanwhile you are hopeful one day he will love you back. So you continue to be the understanding friend who is always there for him.
It’s great if he soon realizes you guys would make a wonderful couple and I genuinely hope it happens.
But you have to break the bubble and consider that there is every possibility of him falling in love with another person.
Even with you hovering around him, he may like someone else eventually and then it would be very difficult for you to see him with this other person.
He can Manipulate Your Feelings
This is the worst!
If he is a genuine person, he will respect your feelings. But if he’s a douchebag he may manipulate you with emotional blackmail or being passive aggressive.
There is also a strong possibility; he’ll keep you hanging, by neither accepting you nor rejecting you. He’ll raise your hopes and then break your heart.
If you are in a situation like this, my advice to you is RUN! You aren’t even realizing what toxic relationship you have gotten into.
Don’t waste your time and energy on someone who doesn’t respect you.
Friendzone can Turn into a ‘Friends with Benefit’ Situation.
I am not trying to scare you but the likelihood of friendzone turning into ‘friends with benefit’ cannot be ruled out.
Being physical with someone you love, can leave you in bad place psychologically, especially when he doesn’t love you back.
And please don’t believe those mushy Hollywood romances, where hero finally realizes ‘she’s the one’ and then they happily ever after. Real life may not be the fairy-tale you imagined.
Instead you may get your heart broken if you continue to love while getting nothing in return.
RELATED POST: TELL-TALE SIGNS OF A BREAK-UP
Being Friendzoned can Mentally Drain You
It is stressful to keep hoping of something that may or may never happen.
You have to realize that while you always put him as your number one priority, he may not do so for you.
The longer you linger, your expectations will increase and even though you deny, you’d want him to be there when you need him.
Whenever he falls short of your expectations you will be massively disappointed and hurt.
You are Wasting Your Time and Opportunities
Darling there are plenty of fishes in the sea.
As you yearn for his love without any concrete future possibilities, there are plenty of prospects who you are ignoring.
In the long run, you will be the biggest loser so take some concrete action now.
Start meeting other men. You don’t have to jump into a relationship immediately but be show some genuine interest when you meet other guys.
Who knows you may even end up with a better guy who deserves you.
You will Hurt Yourself in the Long Run
Any complicated relationship takes its toll on your mental health in the long-term.
It is wise to escape your friendzone situation as early as possible because the longer you stay the more difficult it becomes to move on.
If he meets someone you’ll have to deal with those pangs of jealousy and heartache.
If he flirts with other girls or tries to be your wingman you will have to put up with the façade of being okay.
You may Constantly try to Attract Him
When love a guy you are trying to get his attention most of the time even unconsciously.
If you find yourself sharing every little detail with him or making plans to catch-up, you my friend are trying very hard to be loved.
Here you run the risk of not giving the other person space and lowering your self-worth.
How to Escape the Friendzone Trap
Stop Revolving your Life around Him
Stop giving him so much importance. Don’t rush to him whenever he has love problems or any other issues. You are not his therapist.
Respect yourself more and build healthy boundaries. Don’t tell him everything single detail about your life.
Also when you are meeting him set a time-limit, show him you are a little pressed for time and have a lot going on.
If you can stop your meeting him altogether for a while then nothing like it. As they say out of sight, out of mind.
Stop Texting Him
Don’t text him or don’t be impatient to answer his texts immediately. I know it would take every ounce of your willpower but don’t do it.
Every time you have the urge to text him, find something else to do. If you don’t want any communication from him convey your concerns.
Stop Finding Excuses to Meet Him
Do you find yourself restless if you don’t meet him every other day? That’s perfectly normal.
But it doesn’t mean you continue to meet him regularly. If meeting him is painful for you, then don’t meet him.
It is perfectly okay to cancel even at the last minute if your mental peace is at stake.
Stop Over-Analyzing Your Situation
Stop over thinking about what you could do differently to make him yours.
I understand it is harsh to accept the truth when it comes to one-sided love. But know this – everything happens for a reason.
My honest suggestion would be to break your friendship because if you pretend he’s just a friend, it will heart-breaking for you.
Make Yourself a Priority
Unrequited love can seriously affect your mental health, so prioritize your emotional well-being.
Cry your heart out. Make some plans with your single friends; chalk out your career plans; meditate or plan a solo trip. Do whatever you can to break out of this rut.
If you think you should take a social media break do it; you wish to unfollow him, I’d say wise move.
Plus if you are feeling vulnerable talk to your family and friends who are there for you.
Reasons Why He Likes You Only as a Friend
Being friendzoned is not uncommon. Perhaps, you also have rejected someone who loved you because you didn’t have the same feelings.
But why does this happen?
Well, there could be ‘n’ number of reasons of why you have been friendzoned. But those multiple reasons circle into these main ones.
He has Commitment Issues
Guys who have complicated past, like a traumatic childhood or failed relationships have trust issues when it comes to commitment.
Maybe he needs to resolve his issues first before investing into a relationship with you.
If he has mentioned ‘how he’s damaged’ or ‘he’s difficult to be with’ he probably knows about your feelings and likes you too but scared to be in a relationship or doesn’t want a relationship with anyone at that point.
It may also happen that by the time he is in healthy headspace he’s with someone else.
That would make you furious isn’t it? After all that you’d done for him why it couldn’t be you? What’s so special about this new girl?
It’s the timing darling! When you met this guy mentally he wasn’t ready for new beginnings, unfortunately you bore the brunt of his emotional baggage.
But with this new girl he can start afresh, minus his past complexities.
He’s Confused about His Feelings for You
He’s probably confused about his feelings; maybe he thinks you’re too good for him.
Here I would advise you to observe his body language, because even if he doesn’t say it his gestures will indicate he likes you.
If you feel he’s loves you, but doesn’t realize it, give it some time or convey your feelings.
He’s Introverted by Nature
If he’s introverted or shy he probably wants you to take the lead. In that case, lucky you, all you need is a little push and he’s yours.
But I would still advice you to observe his body language. When a guy loves you he will want to be physically close.
This may include gestures like resting his hand on your shoulder or hugging you when you meet, or holding your hand.
If he’s doing all that he’s definitely interested in you.
Loves You as a Friend
Hate to say this but probably he sees you as a friend and nothing else. He values your friendship and doesn’t want ruin it.
If you are okay to maintain the friendship by all means go ahead, but if in your heart you don’t want to accept him just as a friend, be gracious and move on.
Don’t accept the friendship and then expect things to dramatically change one day.
Finally, when a Guy Friendzones You,
Don’t for a moment think something is wrong with you. Whom we love is not in our control. Move on with grace and dignity whether he loves you or not, you will certainly have his respect, and not every woman commands respect. Do you wish to be such a classy strong woman then take a look at this.