What Kills Long Distance Relationships: 13 Mistakes

Know what kills a long distance relationship and how you can avoid these common mistakes in an LDR.

Maintaining a long-distance relationship can be tough. One big problem is the lack of being physically close. Not seeing each other often can make things feel a bit empty, and video calls can’t replace real hugs and shared moments.

The distance can make jealousy and insecurity show up unexpectedly, while there’s always an uncertainty of when you’ll be together again, especially if there’s no clear plan for the future or a reunion.

Communication can get tricky too, sometimes there’s a delay in responding, paving way for misunderstandings, and can make both partners feel lost and question if it’s all worth it.

So, what kills a long-distance relationship? It’s the mix of not being physically close, trust issues, communication struggles, and the lack of a clear plan for the future.

In this write-up we shall reflect on some common mistakes that kills a long distance relationship.

13 Mistakes That Kill Long Distance Relationships

1. Lack of communication

Lack of communication is a major reason why long distance relationships fail.

There’s a real possibility that you and your partner aren’t able to coordinate your timings. If you both are never free together it impacts your communication.

Even if you are in separate countries or time-zones do drop each other cute voice and text messages.

Show your partner the love, discuss those trivial everyday things, and make them feel as if they are a part of your life.

Find a common time in your schedule to talk to each other, even if it’s for a few minutes.

If something is bothering you, communicate it to your partner clearly, most times your partner may not even realize how you feel, so be open and frank about your needs and ask them about their expectations from you as well.

2. Being Clingy or Possessive

Being clingy and possessive will give rise to resentment in your relationship.

You need to establish some personal boundaries, because like it or not you both actually have individual lives.

Overanalyzing everything your partner does will suffocate your relationship.

Knowing minute to minute details of your partner’s life or talking for long hours daily will not make your relationship stronger, if anything it will just kill it.

Live your individual life and give your partner the space they deserve.

Your relationship is not the heart and soul of your existence, it is a part of your life, so don’t make it your sole identity.

Make a schedule to keep yourself busy, take time to become more self-aware, work on your confidence, spend time with your friends.

3. Lying To Your Partner

Avoid situations where you may have to resort to lying to your partner.

Think logically before making any decision in a tricky situation.

Like if you have a party with your office colleagues and your partner is skeptical of you attending it, instead of lying to him about skipping the party, assure him that you’ll be safe and text him when you return.

These little things are crucial in a long distance relationship.

Don’t put your partner in a position where they feel betrayed or hurt.

4. Being Jealous

In long distance relationships insecurities can affect you a thousand times more but that doesn’t mean you doubt your partner with every girl he’s friends with.

You cannot stop every interaction your partner has with the opposite gender can you?

So instead of being overtly curious about his friends (Cough *internet stalking* cough!) learn to trust your partner otherwise it’ll only increase their frustration and your anxiety, all recipes for a messy break-up!

There are also instances when people use a third person to make their partner jealous. But this can seriously backfire.

If you are doing it intentionally, remember you can also be at the receiving end.

If you are trying to get back at them, it may push your partner away from you. You also risk losing the respect your partner has for you.

5. Cheating on your Partner

In long distance relationships it’s easy to be attracted to a new person, because you are lonely and want new friends; there could be so many other reasons as well.

But how you handle that situation is up to you. You may unintentionally start hanging out with a new person and before you know it everything just spirals out of control.

This is why you need to make certain things clear before starting a long distance relationship.

Are you guys dating exclusively?
How much are you committed to this relationship?
Are you actively planning a future together?

If you are serious about the future of your relationship, you need to ask these pertinent questions and actively take decisions in that regard.

6. Making the Relationship All about You

Remember there are two people in this relationship. So don’t make this all about you.

Like for instance you keep on giving him updates about your life but barely show any interest in him will make your partner feel neglected and unloved.

A little thoughtfulness on your part can help you avoid this common mistake.

7. Not discussing unresolved issues

It is easy to resolve your fights when you are physically close as you can talk to your partner directly, in person. You have the luxury of making love after a big fight.

Long distance relationships obviously don’t give you that option so it is all the more important to solve your problems as soon as possible.

In case you cannot resolve a fight, give each other a time-out and don’t forget to end your conversation with a simple “I love you.” Don’t let trivial issues overshadow your bond.

8. Not having intimate conversations or date nights

Intimacy definitely plays a big part in bringing a couple together but in long distance relationships when you can’t be in close proximity it is vital to set a virtual date night or have those intimate conversations.

Talking about your physical needs with your partner can be awkward at first so try sending flirty text messages and gradually as you are more comfortable move towards phone and video calls.

9. Guilt tripping your partner

Guilt tripping your partner from being away from you is so common. It involves using emotional manipulation or pressure to make your partner feel bad about something they’ve done or haven’t done.

It creates a negative atmosphere where one partner feels obligated or guilty, rather than freely communicating.

If you’re feeling neglected or upset about something talk to your partner about how you feel and work together to find positive solutions.

You also have to realize that you both chose to be in this long distance relationship and that your relationship will not remain in the long distance mode permanently.

10. Being Unsure Of Your Relationship

There may be times when you will question the future of your relationship.

People around you will raise questions, causing you to doubt if your relationship even has a future.

In such times, instead of being swayed by multiple opinions and doubts, trust the connection you have with your partner, know that your long-distance relationship is every bit as real as other normal relationships.

11. Not discussing your future together

There has to be an end-goal for your long distance relationship, if you both eventually want your “together forever” you have to make some decisions in that regard.

Like for how long do you want to carry this long distance thing? Do you want to move together in a particular city? Ask questions, find your answers together and then work towards your end-goal.

12. Not discussing finances when planning trips

Discussing finances with your partner can be awkward at first but if you wish to meet in person or are planning vacations together it is wise you know your partner’s financial situation.

Invest equally in your trips together; your partner will appreciate this gesture so much.

Whether you are visiting each other’s cities, planning to meet midway or having a vacation together, all travel and other related activities involve considerable money.

So make sure you both invest equally and are honest to each other about your individual financial situation before planning any in-person meets.

RELATED POST: 10 Important Financial Goals For Couples

13. Taking your partner for granted

If being too possessive of your partner is a problem in long distance relationships so is being detached and aloof, just like you have insecurities, so does your partner.

It can be equally difficult for them to go on for long durations without you. So always put in that extra effort in form daily romantic messages, sending thoughtful gifts, and perhaps surprise visits.

Show them your love and empathy during bad days. Make them feel loved and supported.

Tips to keep your long distance relationship alive

Try activities for your virtual dates: Try to do some activities together like cooking or watching a rom-com, there’s only so much you can talk, but when you work together it gives you a sense of belonging, even if you are apart.

Plan Visits and Future Together: Having a plan for the future, including visits and eventual reunions, provides a sense of direction for the relationship. It gives the relationship a purpose beyond the distance.

Show your love with surprise gifts: In a long-distance relationship, where physical presence is limited, gifts signify your willingness to nurture the relationship despite the distance.

Here are some simple gift ideas for long-distance relationships:

Personalized Gifts: Like custom photo albums or engraved jewelry.
Subscriptions: Such as streaming services or monthly snack boxes.
Virtual Dates: Try online cooking classes or museum tours together.
Comfort Items: Send cozy blankets or scented candles.
Long-Distance Gadgets: Like Bond Touch bracelets or Pillow Talk pillows.
Handwritten Letters: Share thoughts and feelings through letters or journals.
Care Packages: Fill them with favorite snacks or self-care items.

Lastly, What actually Kills Long distance relationships?

Just like any other relationships, long distance ones too come with their own set of challenges, and it’s not just intimacy, it’s the little things like a kiss on the forehead, doing things together or holding each other’s hand, these simple gestures mean so much when you’re away from each other.

So it’s only human you will be impatient with your long distance situation at times, causing you to make these mistakes.

But don’t be too hard on yourself, with a little foresight you can easily avoid these mistakes and ride out your long distance situation to be together with your partner.