“Do long distance relationships last?”, “How to make long distance relationships work?”
If you have been going over such similar questions it means you need some solid advice on long distance relationships.
Long distance relationships have a “this is doomed,” sentiment attached to them. Most people would advise you against it.
There’s certainly a risk of couples drifting apart and eventually breaking-up for good.
But that doesn’t mean such relationships fail all the time. As per a 2018 survey 60% of long-distance relationships last.
Of course, being physically away from your partner is challenging, but when you both are fully invested in your relationship you’ll make it work no matter what.
This article is aimed at giving you the best tips on how to make long distance relationships work and the mistakes to avoid in long distance relationships.
How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work
Long distance relationship is a “scary” word for couples and indeed being physically away from your partner is challenging.
But hey it’s not all gloomy, several researchers have found that long-distance relationships are no less difficult to maintain than close relationships.
Let’s see some numbers for long distance relationships:
— Most couples opt for long distance relationships due to various reasons like attending different colleges for graduation, taking up new jobs in different places or for higher studies abroad.
— Thankfully the internet has made communication between couples so seamless and feasible that even most trivial life updates can be shared in real time.
— So if you have any doubts in your mind regarding how to make your relationship work in the long distance know that people all over the world are successfully managing theirs and so can you.
23 Best Tips for Long Distance Couples
How to make a long distance relationship work? This simple question lingers on the mind of every long distance couple.
It is fair to say that long distance relationships have their own unique challenges, like making time for each other yet maintaining your individual social life and so on.
The practical tips here are intended to help you navigate through these challenges better.
1. Trusting your Your Partner is essential in a long distance relationship
Trust is one of the most important factors in any relationship and it becomes more vital in a long distance one. It is so tempting to doubt your partner.
I mean if you have reasons to doubt, you are 100% entitled to verify it.
But in this process don’t hurt your relationship; there are moments when your thoughts lie to you.
Frequent suspicion cracks a perfectly healthy relationship.
So always give your partner the benefit of doubt, at first and even if that nagging suspicion doesn’t go away, take your decision accordingly.
2. Know Each Other’s Schedules
It is imperative to know each other’s schedules when couples are apart from each other.
You have to be mindful of your partner’s schedules so as to not disturb them in the middle of an important meeting or class.
Plus it is equally essential to schedule a particular time, to chat like a regular couple.
Normal or day-to-day conversations are so necessary when you aren’t physically together.
3. Make Video calls whenever possible
Conversations over Facetime and Skype are simply great to feel closer to each other. You can see your partner and their reactions in real time.
Apps like Zoom, Hangouts or House Party come with even more features.
Like you can schedule meetings in Zoom so that’s a great idea for a virtual date, similarly House Party has tons of in-house games to keep your chat fun and lively.
4. Don’t be too clingy with your partner
Possessiveness in relationships is normal, we are territorial about the people we love but that doesn’t mean we should constantly seek their attention and be excessively clingy.
If you constantly seek your partner’s attention and nag them about everything, it can get annoying pretty soon.
Give your partner that healthy space and don’t fight to get their attention, if they truly love you at the end of the day you’ll be the one they’ll turn to.
5. Show your partner how much this relationship means to you
Assure your partner time and again how much this relationship means to you and how much you love them.
The risk of insecurity and doubt is quite common in long distance relationships, but the answer to that is not being clingy and possessive instead tell them how much you value them.
It’s lovely when you assure your partner with a simple, “I am so lucky to have you.”
Also if you are feeling under-confident about your relationship please have an honest heart to heart talk with your partner. Tell them openly what is bothering you.
6. It is important to Do Some Things Together in a long distance relationship
Doing things together is about growing the connection with your partner despite the distance, and technology makes it so easy for you.
Watch some wonderful shows on streaming services like Netflix or Hulu and later initiate a discussion on it.
Similarly if you both love books, create a list of books you want to read or read a book together and then discuss it.
Complete some online quizzes on Buzzfeed and compare your results.
Take a fitness challenge along with your partner.
7. Communicate as much or as little as you need
The marvels of technology have made it possible for communication to be seamless in a long distance relationship.
But as each couple is different, so are their communication needs.
Some couples may feel the need to stay connected constantly while others may find it too tiresome to talk to each other frequently all throughout the day.
So along with your partner, find a common ground on the length of time you’ll be spending on video-calling, texting and calling each other everyday or maybe in a week.
Also be prepared to adjust your communication timings if something unexpected comes up.
8. Be each other’s emotional anchor as a long distance couple
Successful relationships are those where both partners are there for each other like a rock.
This may be a little complicated in long distance relationships where you aren’t physically there with your partner but that doesn’t mean you can’t show your solid support.
Like if you know your partner has an important day ahead make it a point to text or call later on how it went, if you have a scheduled call with your partner make sure you prioritize it just like you prioritize other aspects of your life.
By paying attention to a partner’s needs, you’ll show them that you got their back.
9. Support each other’s interests
Having a supportive partner is a blessing; the best relationships are those where both partners show a genuine interest in each other’s work and life.
Whether you are near or apart you both will continue to grow and it makes sense to grow together. But that also means you may need to compromise sometimes.
For example, it may be disheartening if you can’t speak to your boyfriend every other night as he’s studying hard to ace an upcoming test but if you know this is crucial for his career, you’ll support him just like he’d support you in a similar case.
10. Make Plans for the Future Together
Making future plans with your partner will act as a reminder that this long distance relationship is not a permanent thing.
It is essential you guys discuss your future plans and have a concrete vision of your life together.
It will also enforce the idea that you are serious about each other.
Create a plan to chart out your future; ask each other the necessary questions about your relationship like:
— Will you reunite after finishing school?
— Do you wish to work in the same city?
— Do you want to live near your family and so on?
11. Don’t Hide Things from your Partner
No matter how bad the situation is, no matter what you have done, tell your partner everything.
If you can’t disclose it at that moment, tell him eventually, but it’s important that you tell him because it is a question of trust, whether he trusts you enough to accept you with all your flaws or if you trust him enough with the truth.
12. Learn to Resolve Your conflicts Remotely
Differences and arguments can escalate so quickly, but learn to resolve it in a healthy manner. Don’t ignore tiny issues or let your anger fester for long.
If you are sensing some red-flags in your relationship, address it and be calm when you do it.
There are chances your partner might not even know that something is off, in such times an open communication can resolve any misunderstanding.
13. Control the Urge to Act Impulsively during tough days
Being in a long distance relationship is no doubt difficult and there are days when it would test your patience.
You may want to act impulsively like quit your job to be with your boyfriend.
But while that may be a scene straight out of a rom-com you must decide what’s at stake for you both.
There is a reason you both decided to go for a long distance relationship, respect that and don’t let impulse cloud your judgment.
14. Put an Effort in your Dates and Meetings
Make an effort to dress up for your dates.
Try different hair and dressing styles, your partner will love the effort you make for him.
If you know he’s coming to meet you, try to receive him at the station or the airport.
He’ll be grinning ear to ear when he sees you.
If you are going on a holiday together, take a proactive approach on planning, he’ll thank you for it.
15. Plan Your Meetings in Person
For a successful long distance relationship it is important you meet up in person at least once a year.
With this you can maintain the physical and intimate connection that is so necessary.
With careful planning you’ll be able to book your tickets way in advance and save money on travel fares.
You can also meet at a place which is convenient for you both, that way you can have a nice vacation together.
16. Say yes, to some Surprise Visits
Surprise your partner by visiting him on some special occasion, or plan an impromptu visit. Meeting your partner in their city will give you an idea of their life there.
Besides, if you want to move in with them in future you need to know about people in his life, you have to know about his tastes and dislikes. Like what is his favourite spot in the city or where he gets his clothes from or how does he usually spend his weekends?
17. Compliment Your Partner Often
Show an interest in his work and encourage him for what he’s doing.
Pay compliments often, like “you look so good today; I wish I could be there to just stare at you.”
Let him know that you miss him.
With such attention to details will make you a one hell’va understanding partner and everyone needs someone who gets them.
18. Show Your Love with Thoughtful Gifts
Showering your partner with gifts on birthdays, anniversaries or special occasions or randomly shows how much you love them. You don’t need any expensive gifts; any small thoughtful gift accompanied with a nice handwritten note will mean a lot.
During your conversations, notice if there’s something he has been meaning to buy, that can be your surprise gift for him.
19. Be Creative with Your Messages
Leave each other regular voice notes, cute good morning and good night messages; don’t worry if your messages are mushy, love is mushy.
If you are willing to go the old-fashioned route, write love letters for him and read it to him.
When sharing life updates make the other person feel as if they are a part of your life, include photos or short videos like, “Caught up with this beautiful rock on beach today, he says hi!” and send him the photo.
20. Don’t Forget About Your Social and Personal Life
Making time for your friends and family is important, because your relationship is not your sole identity.
Of course when you are in a new place without your support system it can be very lonely, but take this as an opportunity to embrace your independent life, it can boost your confidence so much.
Encourage your partner to do the same, tell him it’s okay to sometimes go out and have fun rather than being on the phone.
21. Think from their perspective
Try to understand his perspective, like if he is exhausted after a full day but you go on with you rattling about your problems, it can be counter-productive.
Acknowledge that they have a separate life and sometimes circumstances can be difficult for them.
If you can see that your partner has had a rough day tell them to rest well, if they are willing to discuss the problem lend a patient ear.
22. Make intimate conversations a part of your long distance relationship
Physical intimacy between couples is necessary, it is an emotional need.
Since long distance doesn’t allow full fledged intimacy, have some intimate conversations instead.
Get flirty with your texts, be a tease to keep the desire burning.
23. Leave your things with them as momento
Make him miss you by leaving some of your belongings with him, like a top or an accessory.
Get some matching items like couple outfits and couple jewelry which you can wear together at the same time. Frame some of your coupley photos together and put them in his bedroom.
Lastly, Can Long Distance Relationships Last?
Yes, if you intend to make it last, your long distance relationship will survive the worst of phases and still thrive. If you choose to be in such a relationship you know the odds.
What helps in the end is how strong your understanding is and how hard you are willing towards your common goal of reuniting forever.